How Do You Define “Falling In Love?”

Falling in love is a purely subjective experience that is different for each person, so it’s difficult to define in a way that speaks to everyone. It’s sort of like asking for a definition of the color blue. You know what it looks like and so do I, but do we truly see the same color?

Most people experience falling in love in a variety of ways. It is a sweeping sense of connection, a meeting of the mind, heart and soul that makes pulses race and that changes the course of peoples’ lives. Couples in love want to be together every day, night and day. They can’t wait to see each other, touch each other, kiss, hold hands, and behave like kids – giggling, smiling, and telling their deepest secrets. Passion is very much a part of falling in love – not only in the physical sense, but also in the mental and spiritual. Later, being in love is more calm but provides the bond that holds couples together for the many challenges that life has to offer. Priorities shift into living life together – getting married, creating a home together, maybe having children.

Some couples fall in love very quickly – and sometimes this is the beginning of a lifelong relationship, and sometimes it’s the beginning of a flash fire that burns itself out very quickly. Some couples fall in love more slowly – taking their time to get to know one another, finding more and more to like and love about each other, and then one day, something small happens to tip the scales over from deep like to in love. These relationships are more often lasting than the quick ones, although there is no right or wrong way to fall in love.

If you’ve never been in love, perhaps your heart is not very open to love. If you have, but it was in the summer of 1978 and you barely remember it, then your heart has shut down, perhaps because of a loss. Either way, in order to experience love you must be a loving person. Love happens because you are giving love freely in many different ways.

Start with little things – like allowing yourself to appreciate a beautiful sunset. Look for things to love first, like flowers, music, or art. Then, look for creatures to love – like kittens, puppies, or the birds outside your window. From there, search your environment for people to love. Make new friends and find ways to contribute to their lives. Volunteer for a cause that allows you to give your time and energy to people in need. Let yourself fall in love with life itself.

Most of all, learn to love yourself. Treat yourself to events, things and people that nourish your spirit – a day at the museum, an evening at the symphony, an afternoon in the park. Gradually, these heart-opening exercises will make you more receptive to love and you will naturally attract someone with whom you can fall in love.