Are you worried about how to tell your new partner your news? Yes, it can be tricky, but just remember that there are 45 million other people in the US alone with herpes as well. (That equates to 1 in 5 people over the age of 12.) Just because you have herpes does not mean that you will never have another lover. You can, and will, continue to have a happy and healthy sex life.
Follow a few of these tips for dating with herpes:
No more having sex on a first or second date. Allow time for the relationship to start to deepen before you tell the other person your news. This is one good way of weeding out all the half hearted people who were not going to stick around much longer anyway. Let them call it a day if they want to before they get to use your news as an excuse.
The person who truly cares will probably want some time to research for themselves before committing to you sexually. They may want to talk to their doctor or a herpes specific clinic or web site to find about herpes treatments, and the best way to protect themselves. Anyone who goes to these lengths is definitely looking at you as a bit of a long-termer. Give them a bit of time to adjust and make an educated decision.
With news like this, timing is pretty much everything. Don’t wait until you both have all your gear off and are hot and heavy. The other person may well have sex with you then but come back at you with a vengeance later when they have cooled off (literally). The best time to have the conversation is probably with the safe sex talk. You are both starting to think about sex, but are still fairly level headed.
You are ethically obliged to be having safe sex. For your protection as well as theirs. You are probably already aware that having herpes increases your chances of picking up HIV. You should not be having sex at all when you know that you are infectious.
Well this is music to your ears. With 45 million other people with herpes, chances are, you are going to meet other potential lovers who already have it. In this instance, they are probably just as anxious about telling you, as you are about telling them.