It’s a funny world we live. Yesterday I asked a friend whether she’d ever think about – or actually try – internet dating as an alternative to wasting so much time in single’s bars every weekend. She looked at like I was from some other planet and just asked if I would try it. When I said yes. She looked at me like I was from some even stranger place. To her, internet dating is for the way too desperate who are too insecure to face real people in a bar.
OK, true, a few years ago online dating was a kind of social taboo. And you do need to use your head even now. But dating online has changed the dating scene all over the world.
Face it, if you’re a working adult (and who isn’t these days), you may not have a lot of interest in going through all the bs and games that seems to be built into the meat market singles bar scene. You may want a more straightforward approach to finding someone compatible who you can truly love (and vice versa). If you’re tired of the old time traditional approach, you may want to take a serious look at internet dating.
You may not be really aware of it, but the predecessor to online dating was actual putting personal ads in newspapers. And it did carry a big stigma. But let me share a true story. Once upon a time, I checked out a personal ad in a local alternative newspaper. It was an interesting experience. We knew almost nothing about each other – not even what we each looked like. She was very well educated, but we had, unfortunately, nothing in common.
One of the advantages of internet dating is that you can learn much more about each other before committing to actually meet.
In the those days, people seemed to believe that anyone who put a personal ad in a newspaper was a) terminally ugly, b) terminally desperate, or c) totally psycho.
Now look what’s happened. Time has passed, technology has advanced and there are probably thousands of online dating sites. So while it is more socially acceptable, dating online still carries a kind of negative response and suppressed snickers from those who just don’t get it.
look at some of the potential benefits:
1) It can be safe – When you go through an internet dating site, you remain anonymous until you decide to provide more details. None of your specific personal contact details will be handed out unless you decide to give it out.
2) You have significant security – If an online courtship has gone seriously awry or gotten all weird, or if the person you are talking to has turned out to be something way different then advertised, just drop him or her. And if they won’t get let go, go ahead and flag them – report them to site webmaster. Kazaam, they’re gone. Since they don’t have a clue how to find you, you’re safe.
3) Cheaper than a bar, for sure – it’s free – Free is pretty good, right? Most online dating sites will allow you to sign up and log on, without a fee. Is that better than wasting money on buying somebody drinks?
4) Choice – lots of choice – This one factor is incredible. We’re talking single’s heaven, here. You think a single’s bar is crowded on Friday night? You’ll be blown away by the number of singles signed up and looking for love on the internet. Say you are incredibly lucky and you find 2, maybe even 3 possibles in a singles bar. On line you could well find a hundred. Even a thousand or more to choose from. ?
5) It saves you money and time – the traditional approach is a little limiting unless you have wads of cash to blow on drinks, dinners, movies and are lucky too. Or, if you aren’t the one paying, you’re still investing time – and time is all any of us really have. Fairly often, in the end, all the time and money spent leaves you just where you started. Going back to the bar. Again. But with internet dating, you can date more than one person at time without investing a lot of money or time. Don’t you think that could really boost your chances of making the right connection, the one you’re looking for?
6) And what about rejection – it’s gone – Have you ever introduced yourself to a girl or meet a guy and thought, this is great. Only to get dumped on or shut down nearly immediately. It’s happened to everyone. And it’s one of the things we all fear. Rejection. On the internet, you make contact via email and it’s a lot less painful if the response is negative. I mean, who cares, there are another thousand out there.
7) Oddly enough in internet dating honesty really is the best policy – Unlike traditional dating where you’re all running around trying to impress each other. Slinging lines and posing, on the internet being real works a whole better. Online dating works best when both parties are honest. Sure you need to know how to talk with people, but if you construct your profile by being honest and you interact the same way, then there’s no reason for a lot of foolish fakery and hiding out. You can be who you really are and you can find people who respond to the real you.
Sure, nothing is certain in life. You can get burned in internet dating too. But you have a lot more alternatives, a lot more choices and a lot of ways to find out whether you really want to go ahead and get in direct contact with someone. This is an area where technology is bringing new and better possibilities into our lives. Don’t be shy – check it out.
Copyright 2006 Richard Keir