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Online Dating – How to Write a First Message

It’s a tough world in the game of online dating. Your first contact message is either going to be the start of something or quickly is deleted without a second thought. To make sure that you get past the delete button, you will need to compose a first message that will give the person a reason to respond.

Women can be especially difficult to establish a first contact message with. You really have to stand out from the crowd of men that flood their inbox with obnoxious messages.

To start, you should first look over the profile of the person you wish to contact. Do not just check out their photos and head straight to the message button because you will have nothing interesting to say to the individual other than “You are attractive” or “You are hot”. On this note it is very important that you do not remark on their physical appearance. This is the most vital piece of this article. Women get tons of messages from men everyday and 99% of the messages will remark how attractive she is. Although women do love to receive comments and be told they are attractive, this is not the time to do so. Save that for the first date!

Once you have read over the profile, prepare to make a statement. It is very important you do not start the conversation with a question. It is important to make the person you are messaging feel comfortable with you and you do this by making statements. Think of it as if you were conversing with a friend. When you talk with friends you don’t necessarily ask questions. Instead you would say something like “I can’t believe how hot it is today”. So try to come up with a statement. It can be a comment from something you read in the profile. Like say for instance in the profile the woman has something like “I am really easy going because I am always looking on the bright side of things”. You make a statement by saying something like “I think it is great to meet someone that has such a positive outlook on life and can see the cup as half full versus half empty. It is very rare to meet people that are not so focused on the negatives and I find that when I meet people like you that those are the types of people you want to hold onto.”

This is an ideal message because its talking statements, it does not involve commenting on her physical appearance and lastly it doesn’t make her feel forced to have to respond and it removes the pressure on her because your message doesn’t really indicate you care whether or not she responds. As a bonus it also tells her a little bit more about your personality in that you also see the bright side of things. It will reveal to her that you are not needy and that you have independence and that you are taking control of the conversation. You are sending a high level of dominance that women actually desire for men to do.

If the woman responds with a question then you are free to show real interest in her because her asking a question is the green light for interest in you.